I recently stumbled across an alarmingly apposite quotation in my desultory wanderings around the internet. I cannot recall the author, nor does it seem vital for me to re-find the line itself, but it struck me as I read: “Writer’s block is simply the dread that you are going to write something horrible.” As evidenced by the gaping rift in my blog archives, I’ve been suffering from a sort of writer’s block myself. I do not believe that I have been dreading putting pen to paper (because I do actually write all of my entries in a notebook before typing them, often while sipping double espresso lattes and listening to the swirling mixtures of Afrikaans accents around me). I do not fear creating inadequacy, especially in this format where my audience is my friends and family and the blogosphere will quickly engulf any wayward entry. Instead, I have found myself fearing mundane redundancy. I had a fervent desire when starting this blog to avoid creating a tedious chronicle of my day-to-day life, as often befalls the fate of study abroad annals and introspective livejournals. My desire instead was to create a space where I could reflect on my incredible experiences while here in South Africa, and where I could wax lyrical in the particularly magniloquent and sometimes obtuse manner to which people who know me have become accustomed. I felt from the beginning that if I treated this blog as one would treat the ever-popular study-abroad-blog, I would not allow myself to think of Cape Town as home. If I treated every experience as something to be noted for my friends and family back home, I would not find myself settled into a routine of every day life. I have found a routine here, and I have made Cape Town a home. I work the same hours every day, I teach the same classes every week, I have some friends with whom I go out and party at night and others with whom I stay in and eat pizza while watching movies. I am happy and fulfilled, and part of me is glad that I haven’t had a blog post in a month or so. This means, as a friend put it to me earlier, that I’ve been having far too good of a time to think about writing. This is true. Baby Kay is still gorgeous and lights up my life. My students are still inspiring and vivacious. My social life is still incredibly active. My boxing gym is still kicking my sorry ass into shape. If I could transplant my friends and family here to Cape Town, I’m not sure I’d ever want to leave.
That being said, it feels good to write again. I will be updating again soon, I promise, and for the sake of those with whom I do not have frequent Facebook contact, here are some highlights of the past month:
I travelled the Garden Route with two friends, during which I rode an ostrich (which may be one of the most terrifying experiences of my life), stood on an ostrich egg, squeezed my body through a series of underground caves and caverns and hiked more than 100 meters below the surface of the Earth.
I began volunteering for the Out In Africa Film Festival as a promotions and event planner, the culmination of which was a big party thrown at a hall in town here. The event was a big success, and we had close to 300 people in attendance.
Through the OIA Festival I’ve met some fabulous people with decades of experience working in non-profit management and they have taken me under their wings and given me some wonderful insight into where I want my future to go.
I began my job search for when I come home to the States. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
I travelled to wine country for a day with Rebecca and Steve and Kay, a day in which we tasted scrumptious wine and stuffed ourselves silly with an amazing meal on one of the vineyards.
I continued to make friends and meet new people. I, as all of you should of course know, have always been a very social and outgoing person. However, here in Cape Town I have pushed myself further than I ever have to put myself out there, meet people and speak with people. I’ve attended events by myself, and approach people in bookstores, coffee shops, concerts, etc. This has resulted in probably the most eclectic and eccentric group of friends I’ve ever had, and I absolutely adore every minute of it.
Tomorrow Rebecca, Steve, Kay and I leave for Europe for almost two weeks. We are spending six days in Paris, where my mother and younger brother will meet us, then on to four days in Bruges (which I have never visited) and then two days in Amsterdam before heading back to Cape Town. Travelling with an infant will be a new challenge for me, but I cannot wait to see my mother and brother, and to revisit Paris for the first time in over seven years. I will definitely be blogging from Europe, do not worry.
So there will be some weeks when inscribing my thoughts and reflections will take a back seat to facing my world head on and diving into my own experiences. There will be some weeks when my ruminations will rival the self-absorption of Rilke and the blog entries will flow. I thank you for your care and support when reading my ramblings, I apologize for my inconsistency of late, and I love and miss you all.
Afskeid.